Pregnant after Loss: Finding Hope and Support in Early Pregnancy

This Journal entry is available in two ways: you can read it below, or press play to hear me sharing it in my own voice.

This one feels raw to write. Honestly, it’s something people don’t talk about enough, and yet it’s so important. Being pregnant after a loss is not simple. It comes with such a tangled mix of emotions – fear, hope, love, protection – all bundled into one.

You know you’re supposed to be happy, but you don’t let yourself think too far ahead. You don’t dare imagine due dates, or birthdays, or “this time next year” moments, because there are too many hurdles and milestones between here and there. And those early, secret weeks — the ones nobody talks about — they were always the hardest for me.

So if you’re here right now, quietly pregnant after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss, I want you to know this: you’re not alone. You can have fear and you can have hope. You’re allowed to carry both.

When excitement doesn’t come straight away in pregnancy after loss

It’s okay if excitement doesn’t hit you the second you see two pink lines.

With Paisley, I felt numb for most of the pregnancy. Even when I got to 13 weeks (further than I’d ever reached before) I couldn’t let myself relax. It wasn’t until labour, when the midwife suddenly said, “There’s no cot in here!” that it finally hit me. I broke down sobbing, gasping to Liam and my mum: “I’m actually having a baby. This one hasn’t died.”

If you don’t feel excited yet, that doesn’t mean you’re broken or doing it wrong. It means you’re protecting yourself. And slowly, trust does come.

Remembering all of your babies after miscarriage or stillbirth

Every pregnancy leaves a mark. Your body remembers. Your heart remembers. Science even says your blood carries traces of your baby’s DNA forever.

For me, I held on to a necklace Liam bought after we’d seen one of our babies’ heartbeats at an early scan — a tiny heart within a heart. After I had Paisley, I wore it constantly. Not because I was stuck in grief, but because I never wanted that baby to feel forgotten.

Lighting a candle, writing a letter, whispering a name or simply holding their memory quietly, it all matters. Love and grief can sit side by side.

We even announced our second baby on International Wave of Light, with a nod to the losses, see the image below…

Finding safe support in pregnancy after loss

Not every pregnancy space feels safe after loss. I couldn’t bear the apps that chirped about “your baby is now the size of a…” especially when certain weeks lined up with the ones I had lost. I deleted them.

What helped was finding spaces where my story wasn’t brushed aside, where I could show up with all of it — fear, hope, questions. That’s the kind of support you deserve too.

And if you’re local, Grimsby and Cleethorpes SANDS offer specialist support for anyone affected by baby loss.

Letting connection grow slowly in early pregnancy after loss

Connection doesn’t always happen straight away, and that’s okay. For me, it came in small, quiet moments: lying in the bath, feeling those first movements, daring to talk about names so my baby felt real even if I lost them.

It was never instant. It was slow. But it came. And it will for you too.

You don’t have to wait for care in pregnancy after miscarriage

There’s this idea that you only tell people after 12 weeks, when you’ve had the scan. But I couldn’t wait that long to share. I needed someone in my corner sooner.

I told a close friend early on, and she turned up with flowers. “We need to celebrate this,” she said. She didn’t brush away my fear, she didn’t tell me to be positive, she just stood beside me in it. That bouquet reminded me I didn’t need to wait for milestones to deserve support. And neither do you.

A gentle way to lean into hope in pregnancy after loss

Looking back, I realise I missed out on so much joy because I didn’t allow myself to lean into pregnancy. That’s why I created Holding Hope — the thing I wish I’d had.

It’s a gentle package with:

• Seven guided relaxation tracks
• A journaling workbook with prompts to help you process your feelings
• A bonus track for those wobbly scan or appointment days

It’s not about ignoring your fears. It’s about giving yourself little pockets of calm, reflection, and trust, helping hope feel safe again.

💛 You can find all the details here – Holding Hope. And if you need someone to hold space, my inbox is always open.